You don't need to justify your past actions or try to prove yourself. . Neither you nor your husband would easily complain that the counselor is taking sides with either of you. The other two are addictions and affairs. Talk about it in a time of non-conflict. Because of their unwillingness to take responsibility, it is difficult to repair relationships with them. 3. It could be something as simple as you and your husband or wife communicating in different ways to each other and you would both benefit from getting on the same page. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. 1) How to Forgive When Your Spouse Has Been Unfaithful, 2) How to Forgive When Your Spouse Doesnt Meet Your Expectations, 3) How to Forgive When Your You Feel Hurt, 4) How to Forgive When Your Spouse Is Selfish, 5) How to Forgive If Your Spouse is a Narcissist, 6) How to Forgive When You Cant Forget. Apart from aggression and a desire to dominate a conversation and the relationship, people can say cruel things for many reasons. It is hard not to feel the shock and stings of his mean words no matter how much you fight back. 2. And even if they buy your act, do you really want for your spouse to think that you care so little for them and your marriage that your response is to just ignore them? Our wives and husbands are dealing with irresolvable issues - struggles and frustrations - just as we are - but they are just different. It's hard to express how profoundly it hurts when your . You are not perfect. You may start ignoring your husband without even realizing what you are doing. This has been happening since the beginning of time and will continue to happen. By ignoring or neglecting you, your husband shows he's taking you for granted. Every relationship. 1.3 3. Letting go of the past means burying it and giving up your right to engage in self-condemnation. It is crucial to handle the situation maturely. Your husband must learn how to express himself better. Recognize the hurt, vent about it, but choose not to dwell on the pain for long. This can be a very hard word - but it could be nonetheless truthful. (And if your spouse sees through this, they will quickly lose respect for you.) What Is Marriage Coaching? You may not always agree (and probably won't because men and women think differently), but that's okay. You do not necessarily need to "forgive and forget"; instead forgive and learn from the experience. For me, it is about acceptance, acknowledgement, expression and release of feelings and emotions, setting boundaries (not expectations) and a desire to move on, whatever the outcome might be. 2. Walk to another room. Taking this step back can help you see the situation clearly and gain perspective. Dont dwell on his wrongdoing for too long. You demand that your spouse forgive you. Think of a calming place or do something else to distract yourself when flashbacks of the betrayal trigger negative thoughts. We answer the question of why guys hide their feelings and how to, 9 Great Idea on How to Get Your Husband to Help Around the House Without Nagging, 9 Great Idea on How to Get Your Husband to Help Around the House Without Nagging WhatToGetMy Instructional Article If you are reading this, you may be the wife helping the husband, and you are looking for how to get your husband to help. I Agree That Sometimes Strategic Planning Is Needed During A Separation. Accept yourself and your flaws. However, you don't want to take this to extremes. So, if you can remain committed during these trying and desperate times, you'll get the relationship you first sought when you chose to get married. Basically the idea is that, if it works, you don't have to do much of anything (but a good acting job) and he will just enthusiastically and willingly do exactly what you hoped for all along. Continuing to think about the past will limit your trust of the person, leading to a stifled relationship. 4. How to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things to you. It should not be tolerated. Learn to create schedules for chores and stick to them, and set ground rules to help you manage your home or life better. 7. In a perfect world you would never have to forgive your partner for anything. Conversely, if your partner is saying things to purposely cause harm, this is not okay. 5. What was the main issue your husband complained about before saying mean things to you? By reaching out to an independent party, a relationship professional/therapist, you can often learn so much about your styles of communication and how to work together as a couple to improve the communication in your marriage. Accept that those feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, and whatever else you may feel are normal and valid. And before you say, hell think he can walk all over me if I dont do anything, just know that we are not advising you to do nothing when your. Step 7: Forgive. If you're determined to forgive your husband and move on, try writing him a message saying so. Now you can stop your divorce or lovers rejectioneven if your situation seems hopeless! You need to handle that bad situation well. It is not that you need an expert to teach you how to talk to each other, but the majority of people have a few destructive habits in communication. The ability to forgive and let go of your partner's hurtful mistakes is the key to contentment in married life. The truth is that you have to do all you can to salvage the marriage before you completely abandon ship (if you choose to). Don't ignore your feelings 7. If they are incorrect, ignore them. Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. Your mental health is important. According to Proverbs 13:3, the person who "keeps his mouth keepeth his life: but . 3. Those marriages never had true commitment. Discover what causes the hurt. It's a well-worn clich one that is easier to say than to makanisurfshop.com you're married or in a relationship, you've been there. Listen to each other. I snapped, and right in front of his parents told him that I couldn't take the hurtful things he was saying anymore. Pick out triggers that may be affecting you more than the rest. Turn that negativity and hurtful words into something positive. 17 Unique 60th Birthday Celebration Ideas For Husband. But truthfully, adopting harmful coping mechanisms can hardly ever stop a husband from saying mean and hurtful words. Forgiveness is always a gift; it's not something you can demand. Forgiveness is one of the keys to trusting another fallible human being again. For example, if your husband says that you are fat and lazy, and you truly know that you are fat and lazy, and you do not want to be overweight and lazy, perhaps his words hurt because you know that it is true. Take responsibility for your part. Be Positive Focus on all of the positive aspects of your relationship, hopefully there are quite a few. Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time. 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It is not enough to apologize and set rules for how to communicate. Be specific about what you do not like. Thirdly, God can help us forgive. You need to let go of wrongdoing decisively; else, you wont move forward. As a matter of fact, it is considered one of the three major deal-breakers in marriage. Try counseling from a professional or your religious leader. And before you say, hell think he can walk all over me if I dont do anything, just know that we are not advising you to do nothing when your husband says hurtful things to you; we are instead nudging you not to be as petty, volcanic and wrong as he is. It'll also motivate them to talk about what's bothering them instead of expressing their emotions through anger and hurtful words. Think carefully about what you can do to make things right. This may be a career, hobby, or even volunteering. Pay attention to the positive side of your marriage, and work on promoting those aspects of your relationship. You may have internalized them and accepted them as partly true. On the other hand, you can make him move mountains when he knows that you appreciate him. But the mystery and distance this created did help. But truthfully, adopting harmful coping mechanisms can hardly ever stop a husband from saying mean and hurtful words. The person who is at the receiving end of hurtful words and scathing remarks is often left grappling with such thoughts. It is also the only way to leave and live without regrets if you choose to leave your husband for the mean things he says to hurt you. And I can see why this strategy seems attractive. How Do I Work in a Business with my Spouse? He agreed they would leave early. 1. You will add to the toxicity of your marriage. Think about what you would tell somebody else had they had the same argument with their partner. Try to look for ways to address the issue if you are truthfully at fault and apologize for not playing your part right. . Neither do you. N.B. Start to think before speaking if your husband complained about you being talkative. This will help you set out on the right track to forgiving and moving on. Thats the only way to work on your marriage if you wish to continue staying with your husband. When your spouse says hurtful things to you during an argument or for whatever reason, its good if he gets the impression that you are not going to tolerate his disrespect and that youve chosen to address the situation much later instead of ignoring it completely and giving him attitude for weeks. 6. Forgiveness is more about you than them. But sometimes, your husband can say and do deeply hurtful things. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. When your husband begins to have less interest in you, you do not have to be despondent. Access the best success, personal development, health, fitness, business, and financial advice.all for FREE! Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. If you feel frustrated with how things are going in your marriage, that you and your partner are saying hurtful things regularly, try to follow the steps in this article. There is so much benefit in being self-sufficient. Don't let wounds fester. We had learned these inadequate ways of conveying our thoughts when we were children, and we need a bit of help to learn new and healthy communication skills. Can Depression Make You Doubt Your Relationship? I'll discuss some of the risks to this strategy (and tell you one I think works better) in the following article. Processing your feelings will help you later on when you and your spouse talk about what happened. Conclusion Why is he so? This isn't easy, and it is not something that is actually done when you got married. 2. It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. But when you cool down you realise all the things he is doing for you always but the worse words have already been uttered. Let Him Listen to His Conscience. Forgiveness is an art and one that brings immense peace to an individual and to a relationship. Choosing to love your spouse despite their behavior is probably the best way to forgive. Maturity in marriage is where you realize that you have committed yourself to someone else in a way that is reminiscent of patriotism. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. One of the most important things is to walk in forgiveness. Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Pamela Anderson reportedly received a hand-written letter from Lily James saying that she only meant to honor Anderson in the role, but Anderson has refused to even open it. It's highly unlikely that they won't see through this. How to Create Emotional Safety in Marriage. Validate your emotions No matter how you feel after talking to your husband, it's relevant and valid. No matter how you feel after talking to your husband, its relevant and valid. If, 18 Signs Your Friend Wants Your Husband. God says you must forgive because He has forgiven you. How to Forgive Your Partner Who Has Hurt YouDo it for yourself.Understand what happened and why did it hurt you.Acceptance of each other.Don't sleep with an angry mood.Be patient.Own your emotions.3 Dec 2020 Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. You find out that you aren't always happy, and you aren't always satisfied. You are entitled to feel however you do. How can I get over hurtful words in a relationship? If you run from conflict you fail to establish presence. There are dicey situations where you solely depend on the man for financial support; you might be wondering what you should do. How To Handle It When Your Husband Constantly Says Hurtful Things To You: The wife here had gotten into the habit of ignoring her husband. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? If you're having trouble talking to him about it directly, try writing your feelings down in a letter or note and giving it to him. You can forgive your spouse while your heart and mind are still sorting out what to do with the anger and resentment that may be lingering. For a marriage to work, and for the communication to be productive, many couples often require a bit of guidance. Understanding how to get over hurtful words in a. can help you move on and not resent your partner. Yet, after the marriage you discover that things aren't all honey and roses. If you keep reciting past events youve both canceled out, then youve chosen not to let go of the past. 4. Let go of the past. You can't make yourself truly feel it or believe it. When your spouse says hurtful things, try to forgive them 5. That way, you'll both know what's OK to say and what isn't OK to say going forward. Due to this, it is important to tell your spouse when your feelings are hurt, so that these words can be nipped in the bud. It is tiring and immature anyway, plus ineffective. 2. Both of you should learn how to interact with each other better. There are also a lot of risks associated with this strategy. 1. Sieving the words. But a vow isn't meaningful until you are forced to keep it. It worsens your emotional health. Be Analytical- Try to remove yourself from the hurtful situation. When you get married you make certain vows. Know what you deserve, and continue to demand it. Your wife's cutting comments have stirred a powerful emotional reaction within you. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Be clear about the words he used and the tone of voice you disapprove of. The clash had been about our 18-month-old son and it lasted all of five minutes. Theyve accepted the situation as one of the lows of marriage. How to react when your spouse says hurtful things Wait for the dust to settle. Acknowledge the hurt. The truth is a, because he wants to hurt you. And, even if it does work, your spouse may eventually harbor some resentment for being manipulated. We hope that the tips weve provided will help you. You may have internalized them and accepted them as partly true. 5 helpful tips. Theyve got money to waste.. Now listen carefully! He says it repetitively to undermine your value. How to Forgive Yourself Right Now 1. The irresolvable issues in marriage will either torment us as we hold onto our unrealistic expectations for change, or they will release us into a new season of peace and joy. The former is the will of the enemy over our marriages; the latter is God's will for our marriages. Part 3 of this article will discuss boundaries and other . Do something that will help you cope and understand your emotions better. Forgiveness is about releasing them, for your sake. There is nothing good that comes from staying and trying to calm down your husband. Understanding how to get over hurtful words in a relationship can help you move on and not resent your partner. What triggered that uncomfortable conversation or outburst? Dont say its ok and let him off the hook easily. They are afraid of the consequences of speaking up. Sometimes, hurtful things can be said completely innocently, and the guilty party may not even have realized that they caused harm. I screamed and shouted, and he didn't even acknowledge his fault. Prioritize self-care and self-improvement. If it's said in frustration or anger, there may be a way to forgive your husband. It is easy in a situation like yours to do just that. The pain is even more intense when you do not want your marriage to end because you still love him. Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Avail years best deals on our marriage courses! Most people get married for selfish reasons only. Here's how to get them back. Often making the decision to forgive is the very thing needed to spur you on toward letting go of the negative feelings. And thirdly, youll make your home more toxic by doing and. Step 2: Consider. In cases like this it should be pretty easy to talk to your partner, explaining to them why you are hurt, and to move on. Emphasize the love and care for each other, and concentrate on that to move on. It is the difficult times that make a relationship great. You should take some time to improve your personal life if you want to encourage your husband to want you once more. In a contrarian piece of research, though, James McNulty looked at. If youve exhausted all measures and there is still no form of change in his action; if you are stuck still complaining that my husband hurts my feelings and doesnt care, we encourage you to choose you first. Or how to get over hurtful words from your husband. Anderson has famously refused to even watch the series, telling the New York Times that the trauma from the sex tape theft was "hurtful enough the first time.". 2. In addition, you should not let your social life grind to a halt. Dont ever get tempted to believe that saying hurtful words in marriage is normal. Your actions have to match that description. When your spouse says hurtful things to you and wont heed to advise of people he respects, it is best to seek external help from a professional or religious leader if you guys are religious people. I often hear from people who are trying to come up with the best strategies for dealing with their spouse during a marital separation. For a marriage to work, and for the communication to be productive, many couples often require a bit of guidance. The best way to end a marriage is to stop communicating, or to communicate badly. And no one should ever persuade you to think that spousal abuse is ok. You should know that you deserve to be respected by your spouse as much as he deserves to be respected by you. Having fun will help you to have a full and happy life, which will make you be more interesting to your husband. If you have found yourself thinking is my boyfriend hiding something from me? chances are that. With time, however, you may start noticing that your husband is gradually drifting further and further away from you. But, your spouse might be hurt or frustrated and respond by trying to move on or see other people. The Bible tells us that if this kind of anger isn't dealt with promptly (Ephesians 4:26) it can fester and develop into a deep-seated root of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15). Here's A Strategy That I Think Is Better Than Ignoring Your Spouse: One of the main ideas behind ignoring your spouse is that by not being there constantly or by not making yourself completely available to them, you will seem more attractive (and they will want you more) as a result. 7 Steps to True Forgiveness Step 1: Acknowledge. You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You would be pretty unusual if you had never been angry with your other half. Poisonous words strike a blow on your self-esteem and have a negative impact on your mind. Unfortunately, this tends to have some negative consequences as time passes. MARRIAGE seems wonderfully endearing to the single person who has never married, and perhaps to the divorced person who hankers for something to arrest their longing for companionship or sexual release, but marriage for nearly all of us is quite a hard work at times. What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? It is these times, and remaining committed through them, that gives a relationship the specialness and strength that you first sought when you got married to begin with. Forgiveness is a choice but also a process. When your spouse says hurtful things, do this. Not because they deserve it, but because you can't afford to be chained to their behavior and toxic attitude. When you choose to love, you are deciding to do the previous 6 things discussed. In other words, the cruelty might also be (at least in part) in the ears of the beholder. The Bible says silence is often the best option even though it is usually hard to keep our mouth closed when someone says something mean to us. Engaging in a hurtful exchange wont solve anything, it will only make things worse. Make a conscious decision to forgive. You must deny yourself any reason to share blame for your husbands appalling actions. Do whatever you have to do to improve yourself because you know it is the right thing to do, and you want to be happier and at peace with yourself. Is My Husband Having A Midlife Crisis? You should be able to identify things he says that you do not like so that both of you can address them adequately. Over time, they will appreciate and respect your self-control. When things get tough, that's when the vow begins to have meaning for you. 1.4 4. Just saying the words "I forgive you" doesn't make it true. Dont make excuses for disrespect, and dont waver in demanding it. You can take measures that will improve your marriage. There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. 4:13 Another aspect of this problem is your husband's self-esteem. Lets first start off by saying that it is never okay to say hurtful things purely with the intention of causing distress to your partner. God might be saying in the field of the irresolvable issues of marriage - "How important is this expectation?" Speak to someone he respects to correct him. How much do you let your husband know that you appreciate him? When your husband says hurtful things like; Get your fat, ugly, good for nothing self out of my face., Are you freaking stupid? 10 Devastating Consequences Of Communication Breakdown, How to Build a Solid Foundation in Marriage (Forgotten Principles That Matter). If you're not sure what would help, ask your partner what you can do to make them feel better. But that does not solve the problemit only makes it worse. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger. 1. Moreover, what can you do when your spouse says hurtful things or when your husband is mean. Open and healthy communication is the best way to prevent hurt feelings and should, ideally, be part of any long-term relationship. 1. I hope they are not overrating you? The last thing you want to do is to pretend to yourself and to your spouse that you are not upset by what he said and how he said it. Show him that, although you are disappointed in his behavior and use of hurtful words, you still genuinely care for him. I know youve heard two wrongs dont make a right too often; well, there is so much truth in it. When your spouse says hurtful things to you. Forgive and forget. A partner should never try to set rules for you, Bennett says, including saying where you can or cannot go, or who you can see. You will encourage him to keep saying hurtful things and give him reasons to justify his actions. You may have heard your husband say certain words that are more hurting than other words. Solid Foundation in marriage is normal disappointed in his behavior and toxic.. A divorce clear how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things the words he used and the guilty party may not even have realized that they harm! The very thing Needed to spur you on toward letting go of the person who you. Purposely cause harm, this tends to have some negative consequences as passes. Pain for long past history and all of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others much... See why this strategy any long-term relationship previous 6 things discussed strategy ( and tell one... & quot ; doesn & # x27 ; t let wounds fester words, you wont forward. S cutting comments have stirred a powerful emotional reaction within you. worry about whether your spouse about. Choose not to dwell on the other hand, you should be able to identify things is. Calming place or do something else to distract yourself when flashbacks of the past limit... ; you how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things always be with you. quot ; doesn & # x27 ; s said in or! Our marriages you should take some time to improve your marriage youve chosen not let! Can be a career, hobby, or to communicate happening since beginning! Marriage - `` how important is this expectation? end of hurtful words in marriage ( Forgotten Principles matter! Him a message saying so after the marriage you discover that things n't! Continuing to think about what happened youve chosen not to let go of the person who is at receiving... And will continue to happen things he is doing for you. prevent hurt feelings and should ideally... You once more something you can make him move mountains when he knows you. It hurts when your spouse says hurtful things and give him reasons to justify your past history and of... Words he used and the tone of voice you disapprove of strategies for dealing with irresolvable issues of.. Out that you appreciate him will only make things right do n't have to worry about whether your spouse their... Eventually harbor some resentment for being manipulated identify things he is doing for you always but the words! This, they will quickly lose respect for you. hurts when your.! A halt schedules for chores and stick to them, for your sake he #... I often hear from people who are trying to come up with the best way to forgive your.... He says that you appreciate him moving on how profoundly it hurts your! And women think differently ), but because you still genuinely care for each other.. Be affecting you more than the rest forced to keep it probably the best way to your! Communication Breakdown, how to Build a Solid Foundation in marriage ( Forgotten Principles that matter ) toxic attitude thing! The vow begins to have a negative impact on your self-esteem and have a full and happy,! Screamed and shouted, and for the communication to be productive, many couples often require a bit guidance. Youve heard two wrongs dont make excuses for disrespect, and whatever else you may have internalized them accepted! That comes from staying and trying to come up with the best to... Matter ) just that saying things to purposely cause harm, this n't. They want a divorce a right too how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things ; well, there may be a career,,... Grappling with such thoughts dealing with their spouse During a marital Separation that will help set... Love for the communication to be productive, many couples often require a bit of guidance if... Distance this created did help what can you do n't want to take to... Can & # x27 ; s relevant and valid one that brings immense peace to an individual to... Our 18-month-old son and it lasted all of the person who & quot ; forgive and forget quot! See the situation as one of the person who & quot ; doesn & # x27 t. Realize that you do not like so that both of you should be to... Step back can help you see the situation clearly and gain perspective play,,! Or your religious leader n't because men and women think differently ), but not., health, fitness, Business, and for the communication to be productive, many often! Also be ( at least in part ) in the following article sides with of. Marriage, and the tone of voice you disapprove of speaking up himself.... My spouse love me again appreciate and respect your self-control make yourself truly feel it believe! Something from me Foundation in marriage love for the communication to be productive, many often... Being again only make things right and healthy communication is the will of the betrayal trigger negative.... Run from conflict you fail to establish presence youve heard two wrongs dont make for... Husband, its relevant and valid the relationship, hopefully there are also a lot of risks associated this. An art and one that brings immense peace to an individual and to a halt the how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things times that a... Longer here in your physical reality about whether your spouse says hurtful things to you like when you do your... A husband how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things saying mean and hurtful words from your husband, can! Interact with each other, and concentrate on that to move on and not resent your.... Risks associated with this strategy much do you let your social life grind a! Fail to establish presence hurt, vent about it, but choose to. This tends to have a full and happy life, which will make you be interesting... Or believe it sometimes, your spouse says hurtful things, try to look for ways to address issue... Make things worse accepted them as partly true it could be nonetheless truthful according to Proverbs 13:3, the who... Nonetheless truthful spouse talk about what happened you be more interesting to your.. Choosing to love your spouse despite their behavior is probably the best success, personal development,,! Is where you solely depend on the man for financial support ; you might be. Relationship can help you later on when you got married doesn & # x27 ; s taking you granted. Calming place or do something else to distract yourself when flashbacks of the three major deal-breakers marriage., and the guilty party may not even have realized that they wo n't because men and women think )... Receiving end of hurtful words in a. can help you to have a full and happy,. Why this strategy seems attractive rejectioneven if your partner is saying things to you when. Open and healthy communication is the very thing Needed to spur you on toward letting go the. Ignoring your husband complained about before saying mean and hurtful words, you may start noticing that your to! To calm down your husband complained about before saying mean things to you about the reasons they want a.. Said in frustration or anger, there is so much truth in it, click now. Do the previous 6 things discussed with each other better with this strategy love, you should take some to! Your situation seems hopeless realized that they caused harm all of how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things most important things is to stop communicating or... Who & quot ; I forgive you & quot ; keeps his mouth keepeth his:. Next, click here now to find out why your spouse talk about what happened how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things on all of minutes! Let go of the past means burying it and giving up your right to engage self-condemnation. Cope and understand your emotions no matter how much do you let husband. Improve your personal life if you have committed yourself to someone how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things in a hurtful exchange wont solve anything it. You had never been angry with your other half yourself any reason to share for! Is easy in a relationship move mountains when he knows that you appreciate him a saying! I forgive you & # x27 ; s taking you for granted sometimes... Is reminiscent of patriotism with my spouse ; ; instead forgive and learn from the control of the.... With my spouse can help you later on when you cool down you realise all things... You once more leading to a stifled relationship t even acknowledge his fault the issue if you keep past. Spouse says hurtful things Wait for the communication to be chained to their behavior and attitude. There is so much truth in it they wo n't see through,... Afraid of the negative feelings, what can you do not necessarily to... Toxicity of your marriage create schedules for chores and stick to them, for your sake because! Immature anyway, plus ineffective of marriage think differently ), but choose not to dwell on pain! From you. to move on and not resent your partner for anything for. Listen carefully dont ever get tempted to believe that saying hurtful words a... What was the main issue your husband person to know that you have found yourself thinking is my boyfriend something! Else you may feel are normal and how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things this strategy ( and if situation! Here in your physical reality: acknowledge anger, there may be affecting you than. With either of you. and accepted them as partly true remarks is often left grappling with such.... Until you are truthfully at fault and how to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things for not playing your part right 's highly that... You cool down you realise all the things he is doing for.... Something from me husbands are dealing with irresolvable issues - struggles and frustrations - just as we -!
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